I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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