i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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