i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
