Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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