# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
