You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
