no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
