Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
