Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i dont even know how to be here
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
