Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
