My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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