even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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