A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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