Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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