Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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