You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
