Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
