just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My bed smells like the plague
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
