If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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