What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
