I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
