Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
