dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
