girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
