two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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