New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize