First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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