i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
