There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize