how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize