I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's never too late to be topless.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
