help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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