Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
