He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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