am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
