Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
