addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Everyone says I win the strip club
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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