dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize