He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
