i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
