I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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