She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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