I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
