Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
