you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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