you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I faked an abortion last night.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
