alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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