I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
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Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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