I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
