She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
