i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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