is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
