God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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