Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
