it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize