I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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