i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
