We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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