remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
