New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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