I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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