My girlfriend figured out who you are.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
