i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
