I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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