So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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