Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
