his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The power of my boobs compel you
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize