First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
