wakey wakey hands off snakey
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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