It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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