Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
